Problem: |
You can no longer feel the taste of beer. The feeling of satisfaction has disappeared. The beer appears to have become colorless. |
Possible Cause: |
Your glass may be empty. |
Solution: |
Quickly find someone willing to buy you another glass of beer. |
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Problem: |
The taste is gone. So is the warm feeling. Your shirt feels somewhat wet from the collar down. |
Possible Cause: |
Your mouth may be closed. Alternatively, you may be missing your mouth with your glass. |
Solution: |
Regular practice sessions in front of the mirror are recommended. |
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Problem: |
Your feet feel wet and cold. |
Possible Cause: |
Your glass/mug/can/bottle is oriented upside down. |
Solution: |
Position your beer so that the frothy part is pointed towards the ceiling. |
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Problem: |
Your feet feel wet and warm. |
Possible Cause: |
You suffer from insufficient bladder control. |
Solution: |
Drink your beer in the vicinity of a dog (make sure it has a collar). After your "accident", request the owner of the dog make reparations in the form of beer. |
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Problem: |
The floor looks blurry and out of focus. |
Possible Cause: |
You are observing the floor throught he bottom of your empty beer glass. |
Solution: |
Quickly find someone willing to buy you another glass of beer. (Hint: See previous entry.) |
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Problem: |
Fluorecent lights have somehow migrated down to the wall. |
Possible Cause: |
You have fallen on your back. |
Solution: |
Loudly request that someone pick you up and guide you to the bar. |
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Problem: |
Your beer tastes flat and a little fruity. |
Possible Cause: |
The Barman has poured you a glass of Cranberry juice by mistake. |
Solution: |
Make way to the bar (See #6), and loudly protest the horrible injustice. Request compensation in the form of beer. |
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Based on a Russian version
here.
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