Project Genesis
Internal Corporate Correspondence

This was originally written in Russian by Yuriy Nesterenko.




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To: General Director Jehovah
From: Raphael, QA & Support Lead

Initial testing has revealed the following defects:

  1. We are observing consistent overheating.
  2. The axis of revolution has shown a 33 deg. declination from the vertical, resulting in cyclic temperature anomalies.
  3. The rivers' throughput falls far short of expectations.
  4. Herbivore fauna (as specified) is missing.
  5. The orbit is unstable. Planet tends to fall into the Sun.

Resolution:
Forwarding to the tech. department for review.
-- Jehovah

To: General Director Jehovah
From: Lucifer, Head of System Technology Department

  1. We are observing consistent overheating.
    What else did you expect with that Land/Water ratio? For proper cooling to occur we need a ration of 1:3 - 1:4.

  2. The axis of revolution has shown a 33 deg. declination from the vertical, resulting in cyclic temperature anomalies.
    We're working on it.

  3. The rivers' throughput falls far short of expectations.
    This is because milk curdles, and honey crystallizes.

  4. Herbivore fauna (as specified) is missing.
    Hebivores require vegitation, which cannot grow in this heat without water. I propose to put water into the rivers. This should also help resolve problem (3).

  5. The orbit is unstable. Planet tends to fall into the Sun.
    We will intoroduce another planet on a larger orbit to serve as a gravitational counterweight.
Comments:
There's not enough room to reduce the landmass. We will have to increase the area of the oceans. This will result in a larger diameter and stronger gravitational pull. Plus the extra planet...
-- Michael

That's allright, the user will just have to live with it. We will present the extra planet as an added feature. However, we have already announced the Milk and Honey, will have to at least leave them in the most prominent rivers.
-- Gabriel

Let me remind you that the deadline for this project is fast approaching, and yet you are still beating a dead horse. Speaking of which, why have the designers not come up with a horse concept yet, and are still mucking about with the dinosaurs? Who needs these dinosaurs anyway?
-- Jehovah

Generally speaking, the user has shown great interest in dinosaurs.
-- Gabriel

Fine. But we must have horses too.
-- Jehovah

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